The 5 Love Languages

Who: Gary Chapman

What: Book "The 5 Love Languages"

Rating: I don't know if its the secret, but there's some good stuff. Check out a few points after the jump.

Dr. Gary Chapman, a 30 year veteran marriage counselor, noticed two patterns among his clients. (1) That everyone spoke "love language" and (2) the people that are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own. 

Since 1992, The 5 Love Languages has sold over five million copies and is one of New York Times perennial bestsellers. Check out the five categories communication below How do you think you rank?  I receive  a 5-2-3-4-1 language best and I speak a 5-1-2-4-3 language. Check out the website. Take a quiz, find out how you communicate and how you most like people to communicate with you! 

s/o to Olu Burrell HU) over at kismetcuisine.com

• #1 Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.



• #2 Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.



• #3 Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.



• #4 Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.



• #5 Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
  5lovelanguages.com